*We live in British Columbia, Canada. We like sports. You like sports. Here are the stories and headlines that matter to you from the last week, but from outside our provincial borders...
1. Barry Hinson's Now-Legendary Rant (above)
I will say, if my opinion matters (I know it doesn't, you don't have comment cruelly), that I was left a little disappointed by Hinson's rant, and I might be the only one.
Sure, there were a few gems in there, like when he said he players were dropping like they were being shot by snipers or when he mentioned his wife or when he mentioned his wife again... but, like this sentence, I thought it went on a little too long.
It was like a Judd Apatow movie: plenty of good jokes, but they were a little too spread out and it could have used some editing.
Nevertheless, there are two reasons folks made note of Hinson's rant: 1) The way he sort of (totally) called out, sold out his own players; 2) The way he either gave his wife credit or gave her none at all.
He also threw himself under the bus a little, comparing his team's rebounding to what he tells his wife in bed: "Size doesn't matter."
Interesting. But that's not all...
2. Dan Patrick
Patrick takes top points for the week, however. Not only did DP have coach Hinson on his radio show, but he had his wife on, too:
(*It should be noted, Hinson was quick to apologize to his point guard, who he called out rather emphatically in his presser just the night before.)
3. The Penguins, Ducks, Kings, and Canucks
Hard to pick a hotter team in the 'Chel right now than... well, any of the four above.
The NHL is a small league but the Venn Diagram is still pretty large. That's why the Los Angeles Kings, Anaheim Ducks, and Vancouver Canucks can go on 10-game tears without overlapping, and it's why the Pittsburgh Penguins can roll through the East without any interference from any club out West.
The Kings and Penguins are both 9-1-0 in their last 10 games, the Ducks are 8-0-2, and the Canucks are 8-1-1, and that includes most of a seven-game winning streak that ended last Tuesday at Minnesota.
Now, they enter Christmas, which is the equivalent of taking a powerplay into an intermission. Does it really do any good, or do you come out the other side with the same energy you went in with?
Well, I guess we'll see. Happy holidays.
4. Eakins vs The Fans
Dallas Eakins likes to talk. He's done it a lot. We know his opinion on a lot of stuff.
And on Monday, Eakins took an Edmonton Oilers "fan" to task, after someone tossed an Alex Hemsky jersey onto the ice when the Oilers were slammed 6-0 by the St. Louis Blues on Saturday.
"That's about as bad as it gets for me and I have great sympathy ... I understand and I respect our fans, but that's a bunch of bull-crap to me," said Eakins.
"You see the credo up on our wall in our dressing room. The one thing that stands out in big huge letters is "I Am Never Out of the Fight." Whoever threw that jersey on the ice, is out. They've given up. They're a quitter. We don't want that here."
Good on Eakins for standing up for his club, and his players. Of course, if you don't want your fans to lose faith, you should probably start winning. Because, if you "don't want that here," you may not have anyone left in the stands.
5. The Genius of Will Ferrell
Will Ferrell is really something. On his month-long (year-long?) tour through North America and nearly every anchor desk on the continent, Ferrell hopped between his real ego and his alter-ego, Ron Burgundy, with uncanny ease and flexibility.
The genius of Will Ferrell isn't that he plays one character or another. The genius is, Ferrell has built his most famous character up to such legendary (and familiar) status that, when's himself and not Ron Burgundy, it's almost like seeing Keith Richards sober: you're not quite sure which one's real.
You're always waiting for the next joke to come, or for the moustache to reappear.
Technically, no, this Ferrel tour didn't have during the last week, but is it ever not current?
Also, Anchorman 2 opened five days ago. So, still relevant.
6. There Were Bowl Games, I Guess...
Sure, everyone wants to fix the BCS. They want playoffs, and they want their team to have a shot at a national title. They don't just want to watch Alabama get the benefit of the doubt every year (although they certainly didn't do anything with it in 2013).
But I have an easier idea: don't take a whole month off in between the season's end and the national championship.
Sure, there were a couple bowl games last weekend and this weekend. They matter to the schools in them, and that's fair, but now the rest of us have to sit around until Auburn and Florida State are finally up to bat on January 6th.
It takes forever. It's boring. It makes little sense.
But even worse, neither team can sustain any sort of momentum. It turns the entire thing into a toss-up, even though they've fought all year to get to that one game, often defying odds, rankings, pollsters, and preseason consensus.
Does Auburn's heart-and-soul win over Alabama or their last-week thumping of Missouri matter at all now? And what about Florida State, who ran over their competition before anyone else could even breathe?
Hasn't the Christmas season slowed them down just a little?
But, yeah, this ending was exciting: